| Ranting. |
[27 Feb 2011|05:54am] |
The worst part about having the weekend off is still operating on a week day schedule. If this were a Monday, I would be almost ready for work and on my way out the door pretty soon. Since it isn't a Monday, today is Sunday and here I am, wide awake. I guess, if I really wanted to, I could go in to work today and meander around the office. No, that's a bad idea. The office is a place for work, not to get away.
I feel like I'm diverting back to my old tactics where I used to hide out at work for whatever reason. What can I say? In my defense, I like to keep busy. Some would argue that I probably stay a little too busy but my job, as well as my loved ones, keeps me sane. Without that structure, I would probably be going batshit crazy all of the time. Or, I would go back to cleaning the house from top to bottom more often then it really needs it. I have a defense for that too. No matter what, there is always something that needs to be done.
Then again, it's not like I need to defend myself against anything or anyone for that matter. As a matter of fact, that is on my list of pet peeves. If I have to justify my reasons for doing what I do, it just pisses me off. I mean, unless you are my higher up or just so damn nosey, why does it matter? It shouldn't. It doesn't, really, as long as I'm abiding by the law and no one else is getting hurt.
This is where an "I don't give a shit" attitude really comes in handy, and honestly, I think I lost mine somewhere along the way. Well, I don't think I have. I know that I have. Thinking back on that time of my life, I know that I probably pissed a lot of people off, but it was a hell of a lot better then letting them get under my skin.
The irony of it all, the more aggravated I get, the more I feel like I'm starting to get my groove back.
Private
I don't know what happened yesterday, really, but it was way out of line. I don't think I've ever been so furiated with Josie before throughout her entire existence. She has a point when she says that the whole deal between she and Spencer is none of my business. I will admit that, but the only point that I made to him was that he better not hurt her. I said that I wasn't in favor of their relationship, but whatever, I never told him to stay away from her or anything like that. They can do what they want.
The point I made to Josie was an honest opinion. I don't think it's going to go anywhere past a fling or a FWB type deal. I mean, what on Earth does she expect from me? When she tells me about it - or when she has rather - does she want me to jump on board with something I'm not a fan of? No thank you. I'll just bide my time way over there in the distance, as I planned on originally doing after I said my peace.
I just had, still have, a feeling that it won't work out. But if it does? Well that is great for the two of them. Whatever. But if it doesn't? All I said was that I didn't want to hear about it after I told her in the first place. So what if that's awful of me?
Anyway, back to the point of what happened yesterday. I guess because someone had a hangover, they felt the need to cop an attitude. I wish to God I would have saved that conversation, but since we were texting, it's not like I could post it on here. First off, I was a little peeved to hear that she woke up in some guy's bed but I wasn't mad at her because I was peeved to begin with. Things just started to go down hill when she told me that she was at Spencer's apartment. I made the point that I thought she was staying at the dorms, which I went to bed under the assumption she did, but oh no. She got up that morning and went to his place.
I feel a little lied to, but whatever. I'm not miffed over that either. It's just that considering the fact she knows how I feel about their whatever, she keeps bringing it up. Well, then she brought up the point that maybe I was jealous that she had him, I didn't, and that I was jealous of their thing because Eric and I seem to always fight.
For the record. We don't always fight. I don't want Spencer in that way and I am certainly not jealous of that. At least I can say I am an in a relationship and Eric and I actually talk. We drive each other crazy at times, but when you get to the bottom line, we're happy.
After she made that comment there, it was just all out war. When she brought up Thomas and that whole ordeal with Nate, I told her that she needed to shut up while she was still ahead. Her reply? "Or what?" I told that I would ring her scrawny neck and I am still, very sorely tempted to just wear her ass out for getting mouthy like that.
I haven't talked to her since then. I have no idea what she's up to. I am still mad but yesterday, I was just seeing red. The bottom line is that she's still family, I'll do whatever I can for her, but she wants to be careful just who she picks a fight with right now.
Rotten kids.
Now that is off my chest, I'm going to take Molly for a walk and then who knows? I'm hoping that I will be able to go back to sleep and get up in time to watch the race. I have a doctor's appointment to go to on Monday, and hopefully Eric is back in time to go with me. I have to admit, I think that I kind of miss that guy...
Kidding, I miss him a whole lot when he's not here. Which is why I keep telling him that he should hurry up and win so he can come home. We have baby things to discuss and what not. :D
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